CW: Abortion, Ableism, Death, Poverty, Filicide, & Cyberbullying
The story of Jesse and Ashley Ridgway, two social media influencers who publicly shared their decision to terminate a pregnancy after a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome, stirred a lot of controversy. Their announcement was not only personal, but sparked a larger cultural discussion over whose lives are valuable. To many disabled people, these conversations feel different.
They are not abstract debates; they can shape how society values us, how it imagines our futures, and the degree to which our lives are seen as tragedies. These stories force us to acknowledge an uncomfortable reality. Some people think the world would be better off if disabled people didn’t exist at all.
Announcements like the one made by the Ridgways’ are often controversial. It’s a passionate debate about what should be happening before a disabled child comes into the world. I wish that same passion and urgency were directed at disabled people who are alive.
We talk endlessly about prenatal decisions, but we seldom talk about the everyday battles disabled people face just to get what they need. Disabled people fight for things like education, therapy, respite care, equipment, accessible housing, and medical care.
Where are the public conversations about marriage penalties, poverty, and asset limits? Where are the headlines about disability that are real, not feel-good stories? Where are the millions of people who say disabled people should have every opportunity to thrive?
After a disabled child is born, the noise disappears. For many disabled people and their families, life gets lonely. Often, people can’t get access to the services and support they need, which can leave them and their families burnt out.
Sometimes, disabled people are harmed or killed. In cases of filicide, the public’s reaction is often disturbing. Often, sympathy is geared towards the perpetrator rather than the victim. Disabled people aren’t just the subjects of a conversation. From the moment they are born, they should be seen, valued, and included.
But the harm extends beyond neglect or violence. Disabled people who are alive along with their families, can become the targets of hateful comments simply for existing.
Charlotte Smith and Tom Harding, a couple from the UK who have two children who are diagnosed with lissencephaly and microcephaly, have spoken about the cruelty they endure online. Their TikTok page, intended to document their family’s life with Ava‑Grace and Henry, has been filled with comments like, “Can’t wait to pay for these vegetables for the rest of my life,” and even, “They need putting down, no quality of life.” These are not just insults, they are dehumanizing attacks based on the idea that disabled people are burdens, not human beings who should be loved and cherished.
“We still don’t understand why people feel the need to do this,” Smith told the New York Post. Sadly, their experience is not unusual. It is part of a culture that sees disabled people as less worthy, less valuable, and less human.
The same cruelty was directed at Natalie Weaver, who posted about her late daughter Sophia’s journey online. Sophia, who was born with facial deformities and Rett Syndrome, had seizures and tremors, along with complex medical needs that required 28 surgeries and daily tube feeding.
She was unable to speak, walk, or eat on her own. However, she was still a 10-year-old girl who enjoyed cuddling with her parents. She could also communicate using an augmentative and alternative communication, or AAC device.
Still, strangers felt entitled to attack her. Most cruel comments were because of her appearance. Comments included things like “I’m going to have nightmares.” “You should’ve ended the pregnancy.” “She is defective.”
These comments were not just mean. They were indicative of a world that views disabled people as mistakes instead of people. Through sharing Sophia’s personal story, Natalie tried to advocate on behalf of disabled children, only to encounter cruelty that no one should have to face.
As a person with cerebral palsy, this topic is difficult. Unlike some disabilities, cerebral palsy cannot be definitively diagnosed before birth. Disabled people, like any person, should be loved unconditionally and allowed to live a good life. Disability can occur at any time in life, so even if a baby is nondisabled at birth, there’s no guarantee they will always be.
A diagnosis can describe a condition, but it cannot predict the future. It cannot measure joy, resilience, or the impact a person will have on the world. Disability shouldn’t determine whether a life is worthwhile. Disabled people are part of humanity, and the world is better because we are here.
Sources:
Court, Andrew. “Cruel Trolls Say Our Disabled Kids Should Be Put Down Because They’ll Die Young.” New York Post, 18 Jan. 2023, https://nypost.com/2023/01/18/cruel-trolls-say-our-disabled-kids-should-be-put-down-because-theyll-die-young/.
“Diagnosing Cerebral Palsy in Children.” NYU Langone Health, NYU Langone Health, https://nyulangone.org/conditions/cerebral-palsy-in-children/diagnosis. Accessed 12 June 2026.
Moss, Haley. “A Life Worth Living: Fighting Filicide Against Children with Disabilities.” Florida A&M University Law Review, vol. 14, no. 1, 2019, pp. 57–78, https://commons.law.famu.edu/famulawreview/vol14/iss1/4.
Salhotra, Pooja. “They Had an Abortion After a Down Syndrome Test, Then Told Millions.” The New York Times, 6 June 2026, https://www.nytimes.com/2026/06/06/us/down-syndrome-abortion-jesse-ridgway.html.
Yoder, Megan. “When Trolls Attacked Her Daughter with Disabilities, This Mom Fought Back.” ABC10, 11 Jan. 2019, https://www.abc10.com/article/news/when-trolls-attacked-her-daughter-with-disabilities-this-mom-fought-back/507-f78a84c2-161e-4496-8405-9dc5809d2fc8.