CW: Death
The holidays are typically associated with gratitude. Thanksgiving is when people get together with friends and family to reflect on what they have to be thankful for. It is about more than football and turkey.
Christmas is about more than buying things. It is a time to reflect on old memories and make new ones. It is a time where family and friends gather together to share love, laughter, and good food.
I’ve always loved the holidays. Some of my fondest childhood memories include Thanksgiving and Christmas. The holidays represent time spent with the people whom I cherish the most.
For me, November and December also carry the weight of absence. Gratitude and grief often sit side by side. As the days grow shorter and the holiday season approaches, I find myself thinking not only of the blessings in my life but also of the people who are no longer here to share them with me.
In 2012, my grandmother passed away four days after Christmas. It was heartbreaking. I miss her terribly, but especially during the holidays. The holiday season will always feel incomplete.
It’s easy to list what I’m thankful for: family, friends, caregivers, the small joys of everyday life. But gratitude feels incomplete without acknowledging the empty chair at the table, the voice I wish I could still hear, the presence that once brought comfort and steadiness.
Missing someone doesn’t mean I’ve lost the gratitude for what they gave me. In fact, it deepens it. Their memory reminds me that love and care are lasting gifts, ones that continue to shape me even after they’re gone. This holiday season, I live with both realities: I am thankful, and I miss you.