What Makes Someone Worthy?

CW: Deprsssion

I have been questioning my worth daily for a long time now. I am a 22-year-old who has Cerebral Palsy. I began to question my worth as a teenager. I was a sophomore in high school when my peers began to get their driver’s licenses. I wanted to be just like any other 16-year-old. Around the same time, my peers began to work part-time jobs. I knew that I wanted to work so that I could go to college, and help my parents out. I was discouraged, but had high hopes for my future.

I graduated from high school in June 2018. Little did I know that my high school graduation would be the last time I felt like anyone else. I went off to college in the fall, and was excited. Unreliable PCAs made my freshman year very stressful. I didn’t want to have to worry about getting to class on time. I quickly realized that going to college with Cerebral Palsy was going to be difficult.

I declared a major in communications that year. I had hopes of working in public relations or television. In order to enhance my résumé, I looked for a summer job as well. I found an opportunity at a local publishing business. I was disappointed to learn that the businesses was not accessible.

In 2019, my depression became worse. There were days where I wanted to sleep all day, and not leave the house. In November I began to look for work. I was 20 years old and wanted to make my own money. I wanted a job so I could move into my own apartment in the future.

I filled out countless applications but didn’t have any luck. Discrimination happens all the time when looking for work. Because of Cerebral Palsy, employers weren’t interested in hiring me. Three years later, I’m still unemployed. The longer I’m unemployed, the more I question my worth.

I’ve wondered what makes someone worthy for a long time. To me, it’s not your job title or how much money you have in the bank. It’s about living your life to the fullest and making a difference. We all have something to offer the world. I may have Cerebral Palsy, and I question my worth every day, but I know that I am worthy of life.

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