The BBC’s We Might Regret This highlights a difficult reality: for many disabled people, love and long-term relationships come with consequences that most couples never face. Kyla Harris, who co-created and stars in the series, has been with her partner for eight years. Unfortunately, they don’t live together because doing so could put her disability benefits at risk.
Her experience is not unique. In the UK, moving in with a partner can lead to a reassessment of benefits, as the system views couples as one household. Income and savings are combined, despite the fact that disabled people often have much higher living costs. According to Scope, disabled households need an extra £1,095 every month to keep the same standard of living as non-disabled households. Any decrease in support can make it much harder to maintain independence.
The series uses humor to delve into these pressures, but the core issue is very personal. Choices that many couples make without a second thought—like sharing a home, getting married, and planning for the future—can turn into complex calculations for disabled people who risk losing vital care or financial security. Harris hopes the show helps others understand how these rules affect daily life and why they create challenges that are seldom recognized outside the disability community.
A similar situation exists in the United States, where disabled people dependent on Supplemental Security Income face what’s known as the “marriage penalty.” Two disabled people can each receive full SSI benefits while unmarried, but if they tie the knot, their combined benefits drop to a lower couple’s rate, about 25% less than if they were single. The asset limit also decreases: instead of each person having up to $2,000 in assets, a married couple has a total limit of $3,000. If one partner works, their income counts against the other’s eligibility, which can lower or even eliminate benefits entirely. Many disabled Americans say these rules affect their decision to marry.
The impact of these policies is clear in the lives of people like Lori Long and Mark Contreras. They met on Match.com in November 2015, quickly realizing they wanted to build a life together. Mark proposed in December 2016 at his home in Salinas, California, and Lori was thrilled. However, only a few months later, she recognized that marriage would not be an option. Lori has ankylosing spondylitis, a type of arthritis that can cause fusion of the vertebrae over time, limiting flexibility and sometimes making it hard to breathe deeply. She relies on Medicaid for her medical costs, and marriage would endanger her eligibility. The decision she faced—whether to marry the person she loved or keep access to vital healthcare—is one many disabled Americans understand well.
Stories like Lori and Mark’s echo the themes in We Might Regret This. The show also looks at how others sometimes mishandle or oversimplify disabled identity. For instance, Freya’s agents try to turn her wedding plans into a social media campaign filled with awkward slogans and misguided branding. While played for laughs, it highlights a broader issue of focusing on representation optics rather than the real challenges that shape disabled people’s lives.
What grounds the series is Harris’s view on dignity and self-worth. She has talked about disability teaching her that she deserves love, marriage, and partnership, no matter the obstacles she faces. That message resonates, as it challenges lingering societal assumptions about who can have relationships, who can build a home, and who can make choices without the fear of losing support.
The issues raised in We Might Regret This are not limited to one country or benefits system. Whether it’s the UK’s means-testing rules, the U.S. marriage penalty linked to SSI, or the Medicaid restrictions that kept Lori Long from marrying the man she loved, the trend is similar: systems intended to assist disabled people often end up restricting their freedom in very personal ways.
Harris’s series doesn’t claim to provide answers, but it plays an important role by bringing these realities to the forefront. It sparks a wider conversation about how support systems can more accurately reflect the lives and relationships of those they are designed to help.
Sources:
LaGorce, Tammy. “Seeking Marriage Equality for People with Disabilities.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 25 Aug. 2022, https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/25/style/marriage-equality-disabled-people.html.
Lee, Shola. “BBC Comedy Spotlights a Romantic Dilemma Some Disabled People Face.” BBC News, BBC, 16 Mar. 2026, https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c04361dnq33o.