Thoughts On 23:

CW: Anxiety & Depression

Today is my 23rd birthday. My twenties have been more challenging than I’d imagined. For most of my twenties, COVID-19 has been a part of my daily life. As a disabled person, this pandemic has even more difficult to live through. It is frustrating to realize that society sees people like me as disposable.

Social isolation has taken a toll on me. I didn’t see my aunts, uncles, and cousins for more than a year. Leaving my apartment for more than a few hours makes me anxious. I no longer enjoy going to movie theaters or restaurants. I went to the movies in June, and couldn’t relax while I was there.

Last week, I started classes at Greenfield Community College. It was uncomfortable being on campus. I hadn’t been in a traditional classroom since 2019. I kept staring at the clock, waiting for class to be over. I couldn’t wait to go home. This is a new feeling for me. I used to love school. The thought of going to class every day causes me to become overwhelmed and anxious. I had difficulty concentrating.

I want to continue blogging daily over the next year. I also hope to become employed before I am 24 years old. My job search has been exhausting and frustrating. However, I am not giving up yet. There has to be a job that works for me. Employment is difficult to navigate as someone with CP.

More than anything, I hope to enjoy life more. Anxiety and depression are holding me back from enjoying things. I am hopeful that my 23rd year of life will be a good one.